'Wankers,' n. pl. pej.

A new definition from `phfina on her pensée du jour.

Wankers, n. pl. pej.: of or pertaining to the wankiness of the wankitude, usually uttered by Brits or Brit-like people.

Usual usage: "That dude is a total wanker!" (collq. meaning 1, see 'douche bag')

Unusual usuage: ... well, I don't have a straight-up definition for ya, but girls reading this usage will totally get what I'm saying, esp. girls taking the pressure off, 'blow'ing off steam, or other euphemistic ways of saying this unusual meaning:

"Whoa! I wanked my wanker until I wanking wanked so hard I saw stars and I couldn't feel my arms anymore and I had to wanking lay there for a while until I got my breath back."

n.b.: extremely unusual meaning, most people won't get this meaning without provided context ... and lots of wanking used as ... *ahem* ... 'explanation.'

May or may not have medicinal usage, either in causing blindness or preventing ... 'hysteria.'

... oh, and you know how 'they' say a picture is worth a thousand words? So in lieu of the usage definition of the second, unusual meaning, I should have just shown this:

hm-hm-hm ... ;)

Booth Babes

*sigh*

Finally, someone else gets it. And this is coming from — bonus! and hold the phone! — a guy!

... I'm moving to the UK right now so I can marry this guy! ... oh, he's married already? Well, I could be his love-slave ... no, wait. He just wrote an article against that.

*blush* and *sigh* (again)

Headshot Honch...ess?

Dear Diary,

How I get 100 headshots in a firefight game in Halo, every time. AND a perfection.

First watch this game of skirmiggedon, it's on my recommended list.

Okay, watch it again, and admire my prowess! *preen*

Okay, Skirmigeddon is one of the "Score Attack" game types, it doesn't always show up, and on most maps, with skirmishers who weave, leap, flank and swarm, it's pure hell.

But on the Covenant corvette, where right where you are placed there's a long, narrow corridor with only two access points (one to your side, one lengthy one, right ahead of you) ...

It's pure headshot heaven.

What do I do to get 116 headshots in one game?

1. I choose 'evade' as the armor ability. Why? Skirmishers are feisty bitches, leaping and lively, I have to counter by being equally nimble. When I come under fire and am swarmed, I DO NOT want to run away in a straight line ('Sprint') I want to bob and weave out of the way and behind cover at a distance to recover.
   
2. I let them come to me. Repeated: I. Let. Them. Come. To. MOI! I'm in a perfectly defensible stronghold, and skirmishers take their sweet time coming to me, but come they do (like every girl under me, but that's another story), and when they come to me, where I am waiting at the end of a long tunnel (where's the Dr. Freud who designed this map?), then I get headshot after headshot as they align their heads to my crosshairs.
   
   Here's what happens when I DON'T wait and leave my perfectly defensible fortress and take the fight to them: they swarm, they flank, they surround me, and shoot me in the head, many, many times, and I die.
   
   I go to them, they swarm, I die. I let them come to me, they funnel into my crosshairs, they die.
   
   Once more, with feeling: I let them come to me.
3. I pick up a needle rifle, and never look back. The needle rifle is like, the perfect skirmisher exterminator, I aim for their head, I get a headshot, instakill. I aim for their chest, the needle rifle auto-corrects to their head before I pull the trigger, headshot, instadeath. I aim for the BIG TOE, the needle rifle autocorrects to their head before I pull the trigger ... you get the idea. Out of 120 enemies, I only missed 4 headshots that game. That's not me (too much); that's the needle rifle. The DMR is a good, penetrating (easy now, girls) tool (of destruction ... THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!), but it doesn't get headshots like the needle rifle does. And in the off-chance you miss the head, three times in a row, the enemy explodes in a bright, pink mist.
   
   What's not to love?
   
   
   
4. The skirmishers come in waves, waves of four. I dispatch 4 enemies, reload, pick up any dropped needle rifle ammo, then reset to the back of the long tunnel and await the next wave of baddies. Kill 4, reload, regroup. Lather, rinse, repeat.
5. I get hit all the time. No worries, my shield goes down, ... to avoid getting hit, I'm in constant motion; I'm never standing still. When my shield drops, okay, don't panic, and you don't see it in this game, but I take the gloves off. Any living thing facing me is getting 'evaded' (I backpedal when I fight), grenades, and every single needle I can unload into their chest. They go 'BOOM!' and hurt their buddies, and I get my second wind (and a health pack) as the next wave approaches.
6. GAME. OVER! (p.s.: I win! ;)