Dancing in the Rain (at work)

Call me shy and quiet, 'cause that's what I am.

Call me wild and crazy, 'cause that's what they think I am.

And maybe I am, too.

So, rain. Rain like the end of the world, rain coming down in sheets, sideways!

And everybody stopped work and ran to the windows, and delighted in it.

"Oh, I love this!" one said. Another: "Is it going to be safe going home?"

All that.

So, what did little `phfina do, huh, pray tell?

I looked out at the rain, I looked at all the people inside, then I ...

Went out the guarded security doors, walked out of the atrium, and ... went outside.

I went to the self-same window that everybody else had gathered around inside, and, in the rain, I began to dance.

I am μέλισσα (Melissa), I am the bee, and I am the honey.
I am Sita, I am Lakshmi, loving and loved, and so, so sad.
I am Freya, I am Frigg, I am Sif: I am warrior and a huntress.
I am wisdom and I am fertility.
I am Mother Mary, delighting when baby boy Jesus took His first step.

And as I danced, the rain fell in sheets and permeated my being.

And the people inside saw me, and gasped in shock, and laughed and laughed at me and with me, with joy at and with silly, silly, powerful, crazy, little me.

And then ... well, ... so, `phfina what are you doing at home writing this entry, instead of crunching number on your spreadsheets?

Well ... I didn't pack extra clothes for work today, as it wasn't raining cats and dogs and antelopes, so ... yeah. My wet tee?

People would get the wrong idea about me as my wet tee dried, and, you know, ... teased them.

Or, maybe they'd get the right idea about me. Who am I to judge them? idk.

So, home, changing clothes, eating self-cooked lunch (latkes), and now, dashing back to work.

Can't wait to hear what the have to say about me, but that doesn't matter.

For, after all, I am `phfina: shy and quiet, strong, and powerful.

I am me.

Work: see `phfina cry. Cry, `phfina, cry!

Work.

Sucked.

They called a special meeting today just to chew me out, and I was almost crying, because everything was working on my spreadsheet, but the accounting package still wasn't working and everybody was waiting on my fix. Only right now, at three am, do I now realize that I put in all this work, but I never called the new formula!

So that's why all the numbers are wrong, even though I fixed it and tested it.

So, I'm gonna go to work tomorrow morning, put in the fix, and everything is gonna work, and explain to everybody what an idiot I am and really, really hope they don't fire me, because it's been weeks this hasn't been working and people's pay have been manually adjusted this whole time.

Sigh.

Sleep helped. I basically came home from work, said hi to the family, ate a little, and went right to sleep, and then my mind kicked in and said, whispering ('`phfina, you did all this work, but you never called the new formula') and I wake up just now and finally realized it.

Oh, well.

SO. No matter what happens, tomorrow will definitely be a better day. They can even fire me and tomorrow will still be way better than today 'cause I just sat there not knowing what was going on, and everybody else was like: `phfina. This has to work. And I'm like, yes, I know and they're all staring at me. So, today, it will work, and I'll know that all that work I put in actually did work, and I'll feel better, knowing I did something good and right, and I'm not crazy, so I don't have to go crazy, worrying, anymore.

Bad, `phfina, bad! Sad, `phfina, sad!

You silly little girl! Write a whole new formula that fixes everything but never call it in the accounting package! What were you thinking? About Ridden because it sure wasn't accounting, I tell you what!

:p

WHEW!

... so, that was my day at work. That's why I didn't write word one for that new chapter you've been waiting for.

And you? How was your day at work or school?

Have a good day! I hope, hope, hope way better than mine.