Sensible girl

BWA-HAHAHAHAHA!

Okay, okay, are you done laughing so I may explain myself?

You sure do love explaining yourself, don't you, `phfina?

Yes, I do.

So, I'm a sensible girl ...

BWA-HAHAHAHA!

*ahem!* Are you done, Miss Muse?

...

Good.

So, of course, by sensible, I mean 'of the senses.' Just as Marianne scolded Elinor to be 'sensible' when Elinor was talking pragmatic common sense. No, Marianne wanted her older sister to give herself over to her heart, to her senses, and let go of practicality and reason.

So, as I was saying, I'm a sensible girl.

So I went to the mall yesterday. Watched Thor.

I have a confession to make.

You always have a confession to make, don't you?

Yes.

I'm a bit of a fan-girl. Put anything into my hands, and I'll read it. So my dad collects things, and he had bb's entire comics collection, and guess who went through all the comics as a little girl.

Yup.

And I loved me some Thor.

You've got to admit ... the homoerotism? Big guy with a hammer shaped like a limp ... you know, goes around wrestling other big guys (called: 'giants') instead of hanging out with his wifey names Sif, and his mother named ... get this: Frigg, and in the end fights a very long ... snake ... with his ... 'hammer' ... and they both 'die' ... together ... at the same time.

'Die' in the olden days meant ... you know ... the word meaning the opposite of 'to go.' You know?

So I loved me some Thor, and read all of that. And then I found another set of boxes of magazine.

Oh. my. God.

Dad could sent up a museum to showcase his vintage collection. I preferred me the p.e.n.t.-'home' ones instead of the p.l.a.y.boi ones, 'cause there were more action scenes, you know? I didn't much like the guy's ... um, you know.

I was like 'ew!' and why is he slobbering over that girl like that?

But when I saw two girls together I was like ... um, I was like ...

And then I had a serious case of boob envy. I wondered, when I grew up, if I would have boobs like that. Full, firm, perky, just, you know, out there! And I couldn't wait to grow up, you know?

Well, I guess I haven't grown up yet, you know?

*sigh*

Crushing

So I saw Thor, and Natalie was like, 'Oh, that's my husband's ... I mean my ex-husband's shirt,' as Thor was prancing around throwing that shirt on. And then she said: 'He was a real jerk; ... Men!'

And I was like, so tempted to shout, 'I got a solution to your men-problem RIGHT HERE Natalie!'

But then I got really embarrassed, like, I could just see them asking me to leave.

Asking me to leave with a police escort, that is. And then the headlines the next day:

"Thirteen Year Old Girl Makes Lesbianotic Pass At Natalie Portman in Movie Theatre;"

with the by-line:

"Conservative Mothers Demand her Burning at the Stake!"

They did do tarring and feathering at the last Tea Party in Boston; I don't doubt they wouldn't get Medieval on my ass at this Tea Party's iteration.

But when Natalie blushed at Thor's gallantry ...

... God, I almost lost it again. She looked so girlish and sweet! I mean ... RAWR! the panther almost got uncaged right then.

Not that I'm not girlish.

I mean, I was at the Mall for the movie, and ... but before then ... I ...

Okay, I went to Victoria's Secret, okay? I was, you know, ... well, I was just browsing okay?

So I snuck in there, and then I was looking at this 'ensemble' (if you could call it that) a turquoise lacy teddy/panty set, and you know I didn't take it off the hanger, but I was just standing in front of the mirrors and I draped them over me, you know, just, you know, to see, just pretending, and ...

Okay, I don't know where she came from, but this sales girl came up behind me and said, 'Your boyfriend will really like you in those, very cute; very sexy!'

And I think I squeaked or I shrieked and said I was looking for a friend and I think I blushed so hard I burned off half the skin on my cheeks, and I think I kinda walked-really-fast or ran to a safe haven...

... which was the book store, of course, and I like, ran to the back of the book store so that nobody, could like, trace a path between the two stores and I, like, grabbed a random book and, like, hid you know? like scrunched right down into one of those cushy chairs they have.

I have no idea what book I was reading for a while, and then I had to go and see Natalie ... I mean Thor. That Kat Dennings was not bad at all either. When she said, 'Does he need CPR, 'cause I totally know CPR,' I was like, well, I'll climb right into that picture and swoon for her anytime.

Gimme some of that CPR-lovin' Kat.

No, I was a good girl.

Was it okay to like the Thor guy? I mean, really! Emmett! you know? Big, strong, stupid, self-assured, kind, very kind, gentlemanly, caring, sweet. More guys should wear red capes, get the crap beat out of them then dish out some oh.my.godery with their big hammers if they are going to be as sweet as that and treating a girl with honor and respect.

I liked Thor.

And poor Loki!

... but look at me, swooning like a fan-girl.

Well, I felt indulgent, so I indulged.

Then I went out today.

Got rained on. And it was hazy, hot and humid, and who was soaked to the bone in her blue jeans, sneaks, and tee?

And you know how your bra gets when it gets soaked?

Yes, you do.

And so it was ... uncomfortable. So, I used the ladies and ... well, ditched it.

Big mistake. Huge.

You know those public transportation busses? That all-too-recently blasted their heaters, because, like, last week it was freezing?

Well, their air conditioning worked really well.

REALLY well.

And there I am, on the bus, and my nips were out there, announcing to the world: 'Will exchange a good, hard fuck for a training bra.'

Yeah, yeah.

And you know how your white cotton tee shirt shrinks when you get it all wet, in the rain? and ...

Okay, so I get sent to the 'pre-teen' sections of stores by helpful sales clerks. 'Oh, are you looking for your mommy?'

So this tee wasn't tight to begin with but ...

Yeah, you get the picture. And so did everybody on the bus. That I saw nobody of, 'cause I was too busy looking, very hard, out the window, praying I didn't get gang-fucked like you see on those pervy Japanese school-girl pornos.

Not that I'd ever watch anything like that but ...

Turned on, you pervs? I'd ask if you're turned on by stick figures, but I don't even rate, so I'd have to say, are you turned on by 'twig figures.'

*sigh*

Any. Way. Yeah, girlish me. I also went into sbux and exchanged my beige puke-colored sbux card that had seen too many swipes at the P.O.S. ('point of sale' ... not the other 'POS' meaning ... sometimes) for a nice red-n-black with hearts one. The girl at the P.O.S. said my new one was much cuter and smiled a cute sbux smile at me. She asked me if I was the 'Grande Soy Latte' but that was the girl behind me.

I wonder if I should be a 'Grande Soy Latte'? As that Asian delight with the short hair bob and stylish black square-rimmed glasses and too short and tight green apron looked just too edible for words, and ...

ANYWAY! TOO many adventures today, so I will bid you Good Night!