Work.
Sucked.
They called a special meeting today just to chew me out, and I was almost crying, because everything was working on my spreadsheet, but the accounting package still wasn't working and everybody was waiting on my fix. Only right now, at three am, do I now realize that I put in all this work, but I never called the new formula!
So that's why all the numbers are wrong, even though I fixed it and tested it.
So, I'm gonna go to work tomorrow morning, put in the fix, and everything is gonna work, and explain to everybody what an idiot I am and really, really hope they don't fire me, because it's been weeks this hasn't been working and people's pay have been manually adjusted this whole time.
Sigh.
Sleep helped. I basically came home from work, said hi to the family, ate a little, and went right to sleep, and then my mind kicked in and said, whispering ('`phfina, you did all this work, but you never called the new formula') and I wake up just now and finally realized it.
Oh, well.
SO. No matter what happens, tomorrow will definitely be a better day. They can even fire me and tomorrow will still be way better than today 'cause I just sat there not knowing what was going on, and everybody else was like: `phfina. This has to work. And I'm like, yes, I know and they're all staring at me. So, today, it will work, and I'll know that all that work I put in actually did work, and I'll feel better, knowing I did something good and right, and I'm not crazy, so I don't have to go crazy, worrying, anymore.
Bad, `phfina, bad! Sad, `phfina, sad!
You silly little girl! Write a whole new formula that fixes everything but never call it in the accounting package! What were you thinking? About Ridden because it sure wasn't accounting, I tell you what!
:p
WHEW!
... so, that was my day at work. That's why I didn't write word one for that new chapter you've been waiting for.
And you? How was your day at work or school?
Have a good day! I hope, hope, hope way better than mine.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Sunday, September 15, 2013
... and the fourth marriage proposal ...
So, I just got my fourth marriage proposal on ffn.
But that's okay, because she was just kidding. Or she didn't know what she was saying. Or kids these days (or Americans these days) don't know what love and marriage is anymore, just look at the statistics, right, so no biggie, `phfina.
Right?
I've heard this before, particularly from my European friends, but love, to me, is love, and it's a phenomenon, that if even if somebody says, well, it isn't, they know, in their heart, that it is, and it is serious, and making light of it only makes it more serious, not less. So, maybe a review of epistemology may help your argument, because this is a track that many, many people have trod, including philosophers, so, as you think, you have many others who've thought over this, very diligently, to help you form, or to counter, your arguments.
'Love isn't love, marriage isn't marriage' doesn't work. If your statement held (F-logic allows paradox), and they weren't, why are you giving any thought to what isn't?
Cognitive sciences help there, too.
It comes down to accepting responsibility for what people say to you. Do you accept it, or belittle it? Empower them, and yourself, for taking them at their word, or use logic and reason (sophistry) to distance yourself and themselves from their words by draining them of their meaning, paradoxically, by using semantics to argue that a thing isn't what it is?
When you embark on that path, you embark on viewing people as things, as 'it' spouting nonsense, and not 'thou' speaking from the heart.
And either are valid views. One is entirely materialist, and I, and Martin Büber, take exception.
When someone makes you especially giddy? Don't you see that as something special, for them at least, and if so, why not for you? Because you don't want the entanglement, the complication of a relationship with depth and honesty?
But then if you don't want the consequence of another person feeling something because you've opened up to share something of yourself, then ...
Well the obvious alternative is not to share yourself, or to shut them down, hard when they do get giddy, by telling them: "oh, you're just feeling silly; you'll get over it."
Ouch.
So, go ahead, say: oh, they're young. They're a fangirl. They don't know what they're saying.
That helps me, dealing with a girl who's just broken down and told me she loves me, because I wrote something that touched her heart in a way nobody else has ever done, but you, you adult, mature, reasonable people, instead of acknowledging her fear and her feelings, say: 'get over it, grow up, little girl.'
Leaving another breaking heart, or, worse, another person who hardens their heart, vowing never to open themselves up again like that and get hurt, then get ridiculed for it.
Today is the day someone truly dared to live, and got on her knees, 'pretending' to tell me she loves me.
Please don't make today also the day she closes off her heart, regretting her own daring, and dies, just a little bit, just a lot, because that cold, cruel world actually is, and is actually populated by jaded, hard-hearted people who 'know better.' Please don't be one of those people who sees hope in a naïve, sweet, young, inexperienced girl, and crushes it aborning. Please don't make her one of those people.
Someone opened her heart today. Can you dare to open your heart to hers?
I love you.
kisses, `phfina
But that's okay, because she was just kidding. Or she didn't know what she was saying. Or kids these days (or Americans these days) don't know what love and marriage is anymore, just look at the statistics, right, so no biggie, `phfina.
Right?
I've heard this before, particularly from my European friends, but love, to me, is love, and it's a phenomenon, that if even if somebody says, well, it isn't, they know, in their heart, that it is, and it is serious, and making light of it only makes it more serious, not less. So, maybe a review of epistemology may help your argument, because this is a track that many, many people have trod, including philosophers, so, as you think, you have many others who've thought over this, very diligently, to help you form, or to counter, your arguments.
'Love isn't love, marriage isn't marriage' doesn't work. If your statement held (F-logic allows paradox), and they weren't, why are you giving any thought to what isn't?
Cognitive sciences help there, too.
It comes down to accepting responsibility for what people say to you. Do you accept it, or belittle it? Empower them, and yourself, for taking them at their word, or use logic and reason (sophistry) to distance yourself and themselves from their words by draining them of their meaning, paradoxically, by using semantics to argue that a thing isn't what it is?
When you embark on that path, you embark on viewing people as things, as 'it' spouting nonsense, and not 'thou' speaking from the heart.
And either are valid views. One is entirely materialist, and I, and Martin Büber, take exception.
When someone makes you especially giddy? Don't you see that as something special, for them at least, and if so, why not for you? Because you don't want the entanglement, the complication of a relationship with depth and honesty?
But then if you don't want the consequence of another person feeling something because you've opened up to share something of yourself, then ...
Well the obvious alternative is not to share yourself, or to shut them down, hard when they do get giddy, by telling them: "oh, you're just feeling silly; you'll get over it."
Ouch.
So, go ahead, say: oh, they're young. They're a fangirl. They don't know what they're saying.
That helps me, dealing with a girl who's just broken down and told me she loves me, because I wrote something that touched her heart in a way nobody else has ever done, but you, you adult, mature, reasonable people, instead of acknowledging her fear and her feelings, say: 'get over it, grow up, little girl.'
Leaving another breaking heart, or, worse, another person who hardens their heart, vowing never to open themselves up again like that and get hurt, then get ridiculed for it.
Today is the day someone truly dared to live, and got on her knees, 'pretending' to tell me she loves me.
Please don't make today also the day she closes off her heart, regretting her own daring, and dies, just a little bit, just a lot, because that cold, cruel world actually is, and is actually populated by jaded, hard-hearted people who 'know better.' Please don't be one of those people who sees hope in a naïve, sweet, young, inexperienced girl, and crushes it aborning. Please don't make her one of those people.
Someone opened her heart today. Can you dare to open your heart to hers?
I love you.
kisses, `phfina
The Color Purple
There was a little Jew-boy, and he touched millions of people around the world.
I'm not talking about Jesus ... He was one of Us, remember that my Jewish brothers and sisters? You don't have to, you just know. Everything Jesus did was Jewish. He was a Jew down to his bones and marrow, and He didn't come to overthrow the Law (the Torah), not one jot nor tiddle. He didn't.
Jesus was Jew, and you don't need to remember that. You know that. But who were raised not to be Jews, we have to remember that, every day. Jesus came from the Chosen People. You.
Hi, Eli. I miss you. How are you? (I think if she weren't in Israel right now, on the fucking front, she'd be raping my bones ... right in front of her mother, too, and that's saying something).
But, no, I'm talking about another Jew: Steven Spielberg.
Okay, it's wrong how that guy gets it so right all the time, from Jurassic Park to Schindler's List to The Color Purple. But he does.
So, there it is. Proof that God exists: the Color Purple. God invented the color purple to show us that there's something good, and pure and beautiful in the the world, and if we just stopped, just for one second, and looked, we'd see it. We'd see God and His creation, and we'd see God in His creation, and we'd see it as He sees it: good ... and beautiful.
But we don't, do we. We never, ever do anything ... except rush to get to the next thing, and while we're stuck in that next thing, we fidget until we get to that next, next thing.
But ... purple. So beautiful. You could fall in love with it, couldn't you? It is God's color, after all, so what's not to love.
Nothing. Go for it.
But, as for me, I disagree. Purple is nice and beautiful and elegant and pretty ...
... but I like ... beige, and tan, and pale, creamy white, and mocha, and dark chocolate ...
that is ... I like, flesh tones, uncovered from purple cloth.
Just me, and her, and no purple between us.
...
So, whacha think, huh? That was me, raggin' on purrpleluver19 and her, okay, her obsession with purple. So, snaps for me, amirite?
But this is what she wrote back:
Oh, man! `phfina went for the shot, thinking she was all that, and she got stuffed by purrpleluver19.
Um, so, I guess: go team purple! sigh
...
Oh, and this was purrpleluver19's blessing to quote her in this post:
Uh, um ... `phfina reels and everything dims. THUD! (`phfina faints or has a heart attack, I don't know which)
I'm not talking about Jesus ... He was one of Us, remember that my Jewish brothers and sisters? You don't have to, you just know. Everything Jesus did was Jewish. He was a Jew down to his bones and marrow, and He didn't come to overthrow the Law (the Torah), not one jot nor tiddle. He didn't.
Jesus was Jew, and you don't need to remember that. You know that. But who were raised not to be Jews, we have to remember that, every day. Jesus came from the Chosen People. You.
Hi, Eli. I miss you. How are you? (I think if she weren't in Israel right now, on the fucking front, she'd be raping my bones ... right in front of her mother, too, and that's saying something).
But, no, I'm talking about another Jew: Steven Spielberg.
Okay, it's wrong how that guy gets it so right all the time, from Jurassic Park to Schindler's List to The Color Purple. But he does.
So, there it is. Proof that God exists: the Color Purple. God invented the color purple to show us that there's something good, and pure and beautiful in the the world, and if we just stopped, just for one second, and looked, we'd see it. We'd see God and His creation, and we'd see God in His creation, and we'd see it as He sees it: good ... and beautiful.
But we don't, do we. We never, ever do anything ... except rush to get to the next thing, and while we're stuck in that next thing, we fidget until we get to that next, next thing.
But ... purple. So beautiful. You could fall in love with it, couldn't you? It is God's color, after all, so what's not to love.
Nothing. Go for it.
But, as for me, I disagree. Purple is nice and beautiful and elegant and pretty ...
... but I like ... beige, and tan, and pale, creamy white, and mocha, and dark chocolate ...
that is ... I like, flesh tones, uncovered from purple cloth.
Just me, and her, and no purple between us.
...
So, whacha think, huh? That was me, raggin' on purrpleluver19 and her, okay, her obsession with purple. So, snaps for me, amirite?
But this is what she wrote back:
Aww but wait she wears that purple for me only and guess whats under that first layer of purple is purple sexy purple underwear that she lets only me take off so sorry I guess all your girls should probbly hate purple or ill find them. LOL
Oh, man! `phfina went for the shot, thinking she was all that, and she got stuffed by purrpleluver19.
Um, so, I guess: go team purple! sigh
...
Oh, and this was purrpleluver19's blessing to quote her in this post:
That was AWESOME I LOVED it. Plus i didnt mind it at all it blew me away.
P.s. it always takes about hw long you can write out the alphabet with your tongue to get to the center......LOL
Uh, um ... `phfina reels and everything dims. THUD! (`phfina faints or has a heart attack, I don't know which)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
