Stereotypes

Did you know stereotypes are generally true? Like 'Americans are loud, dumb, and monolingual,' right? Yes, stereotypes are generally true. I'm an American, by the way. Do they help, these general truisms? Sure they do, right? I get it all the time because of my gender, my job, and if I was out? God!

What are you sayin', 'phfina? I guess what I'm saying, okay, I'm dealing with my stereotypes and prejudices all the time, but I really, really try to put them aside, and I really, really try to listen to, well, you, and try to put aside what my thoughts are telling me, and work on just listening to you. And I find when I listen to myself instead of you, I always get in a ton of trouble, but when I just listen to you (which is tons harder, girls), it's like ...

It's like: wow! It's like: wow, there's nobody in the world like this.

So my unreasonable request to you is to just listen, too, to that person you are talking to or judging. 'Oh, Bella is sure dumb in this chapter!' Oh, really? Really? Have you walked a mile in her moccasins? Have you read the books? And you're judging her because she's still alive, being among vampires for two years and how long do other people last? A day? If that? And Bella's dumb because she lets Rosalie kiss her? Hm. Just like Edward has been doing for all of Eclipse and Breaking Dawn?

Or, 'Oh, I hate me that X,' X being Rosalie or Irina or Tanya or ... Edward. Or a coworker. Or a customer. Or a relative. Or a friend. Or a reader. Or a writer. I do, too, girls. God! I do, too. But there is somebody, a person, that I am hating, and there's a reason why I am hating. And here's the killer (for me, anyway), that hate is coming from somewhere inside of me.

My hatred of somebody is telling the world more about me than about the person I hate.

Stereotypes. Yeah. They work, so easily, most of the time, because they are mostly true, or else stereotypes wouldn't exist.

Think about it. Every stereotype you have a reaction to is true, somewhere in your mind. Whether you laugh at the joke or are furious about how wrong the portrayal is, it's 'true.' And you know why? Because you are reacting to it. If it had no basis in your reality, you would've just shrugged your shoulder and dismissed it with a 'Well, that's a weird thing to say.' And everything you react to has you in its power, girls. I know. I know that very well from the reactions I get in conversations I have every day.

And meanwhile, last week (July 15th) in D.C. a man was attacked and beaten by two others for his sexual preference. And meanwhile a coworker told me she was walking home when a car pulled up to her, and the driver asked her if she wanted to 'cuddle,' 'cause that's what a girl walking home from work wants, a 'cuddle' with a complete stranger.

And it all starts with a little snicker, a pointed finger, or a comment.