Architects are pervs

There's no two ways to look at it: architects are pervs.

But, you say, 'No way! My friend is an architect and he's a total square. The definition 'geek' has his picture by it in the dictionary!'

Okay, you want proof. I'll give you proof.

So, in my safe little efficiency block building, two story, it is one of many buildings that form a quadrangle, okay, still with me? My flat faces in. Okay, fine, so my 'deck' overlooks a big rectangle of brown permagrass ... and all the other buildings with all the other apartments facing in.

Question. Where is my bathroom?

Another question: where is the window ... no: WHY is the window of my bathroom right next to, no, damn near IN the shower?

Okay, so, last night a three am ...

Okay, so I'm sick, okay? My head is the size of Kansas, which is impossible, because my cute little button nose feels like it's the size of Texas!

So I wake up, because I can't breathe, except through three tons of snot, and take a nice hot shower, I look out the window, ...

and there are other lights on. Other people watching I-don't-know-what on the tube at three am.

Can they see me, all lathered up, rubbing the washcloth over my sweet, smexy, (*sigh*: preteen) bod?

WHO DESIGNED THESE BUILDINGS WITH WINDOWS IN THE SHOWERS?

Pervy architects, that's who!

That was proof number one.

Proof two: office buildings. Where do they put the mens? RIGHT NEXT to the womens, that's where.

So some guy just whislin' Dixie just waltzes right in there. LIKE IT HAPPENED, LAST WEEK!

What's he get an eyeful of?

Well, what everybody knows what happens when girls go to the powder room, because they go in as a group, and come out all bubbly.

WILD LESBIAN SEX ORGIES, THAT's what that pervy guy gets an eyeful of!

And who designed that that way, KNOWING some schmuck would just waltz right in there during our wild lesbiotic orgies?

PERVY ARCHITECTS, THAT'S WHO!

That's proof 2a, proof 2b is this.

Those pervy architects KNOW what women do when the fly solo in those commodious stalls. THEY KNOW. They read my post so they know girls are stripping down to their all-together and touching their tiny (and super sensitive) titties and thinking naughty, smexy thoughts. THEY KNOW this. So they also know the girls in the adjacent ('commodious') stalls are getting all hot and bothered, just thinking about the preteen in the next stall getting all oiled up and nekkid so she's ready to take it long, hard, and often, and those pervy architects KNOW that these girls think about this and get oiled up with their 'natural' oils and ...

AND THEN! There's all those boyz and girls READing those blog posts about preteen girls getting all nekkid in office building and school bathrooms across the nation, and who does this benefit?

CALGON! THE TRUE CULPRIT!

("Take me away" is their motto. 'Take me away,' indeed! 5, 6, 7, 15 times a day!)

They KNOW panties are getting moist, no, not 'moist' SOAKED, they are getting SOAKED, and do you know how many extra loads of laundry are being done EVERY DAY, ACROSS the nation? Because of PERVY ARCHITECTS in CAHOOTS! with CALGON put all these stalls RIGHT NEXT to each other so some poor, sweet (not-so-)innocent girl can't strip down to her sweet, smexy self and ... 'relieve' a little built-up stress (it's also called 'blowing off "steam"' or getting a full head of steam, OR EFFING CLIMAXING YOUR BRAINS OUT AS YOU CUM AND CUM AND CUM!)

*Whew* Where did that come from?

I'll tell you where that 'came' from! It came from PERVY ARCHITECTS designing schools and office buildings KNOWING that a poor, sweet girl like me CAN'T POSSIBLY last 8, 9, 10 hours in an office building PARTICULARLY during CERTAIN lunar cycles without needing to ... 'rebalance'? and of course, where does a girl go to do that, the bathroom stall, the fourth from the entrance, but OF COURSE every OTHER girl KNOWS that and as soon as sweet little me says, 'uh, I have to go to the bathroom, ...' there's this MAD rush to get to stalls three and five.

Just sayin'

Proofs 2a and 2b.

(And I'm so resisting writing 'or not 2b' as that kind of sad humor runs rampant in my family, who files their bills under 'S' ... for Shakespeare ... oh, God, spare me from groan-inducing humor!)

Proof 3: restaurants and sbux.

Where is the uni-bathroom, right? Secluded, out of the way, in back, unobtrusive, safe, secure from prying eyes...

OR SO YOU THINK!

Where's the kitchen? Or the office, huh? EVERY SINGLE time. EVERY time. In EVERY restaurant and sbux.

Right next to the bathroom.

You ever check the bathroom for holes before you lift up your skirt and pull down your panties? Huh? Do you? HUH?

Didn't think so.

EVERY time cute girls go to the bathroom, just watch, you see the wait staff book it to the office or the kitchen?

What's the big rush?

I'll TELL you what the rush is: they're going to the beaver flash. Uh, huh. I ain't lying.

AND WHY is the supply closet in the bathroom, and inaccessible to customers, and WHY does the supply closet have a back door that leads to where? Uh, huh. Notice how the supply closet backs RIGHT to the kitchen? Ever notice that?

AND WHY are there ventilation shafts connecting the kitchen or office to the customer bathroom? They're both internal rooms, so you need to circulate air ... INTERNALLY?

No, you don't.

Ventilation shafts have these big holes to let 'air' or ... prying, PERVY, eyes peek at the beaver shot, and then, you know, a girl doing her bizniss takes all of 10-20 seconds. Why is she in there for 5-10 minutes?

We know why, girls. And so do the wait staffs, and cooks, and managers, and matron-d's and ...

They're all voyeuristic bitches and bastards watching a poor, sweet innocent young girl trying to keep an even keel from getting out of the pervy clutches of Joe Neanderthal pawing at her the whole dinner date she only agreed to because 1) she's dirt poor, and 2) she somehow stupidly hopes that if she says yes this one time (TO THE DINNER, YOU PERVS!) he'll leave her alone after that but no, he has to be 'affectionate' and paw at her the whole meal, getting her all hot and bothered but not for Mr. Square-head No-neck with hair on his PALMS?!!??!?!

But curious, idle fingers do need something to diddle ... I MEANT 'WORK ON!' JEEZ and ...

and so all the wait staff just SO HAS to go back to the kitchen to get the dessert at the same time poor hot and bothered girl needs to adjust her dress.

And who designed all internal-bathrooms-right-effing-next-to-the-office-and-or-kitchens in restaurants and sbux?

PERVY ARCHITECTS!

Ok, so you checked for holes, so you think you're good?

THINK AGAIN, BIATCH!

You know, mini cams these days blend right into tile work.

Who knows this? Very well?

PERVY ARCHITECTS UNDER THE PAY of mean, domineering supervisors and managers who get off in looking between the toes of poor girls who kick off their heels and stockings to give their poor aching feet a rest so they can relax and take care of bizness, but no.

You're not safe from prying eyes .. FACILITATED BY PERVY ARCHITECTS ... at home, at work, nor at a swanky restaurant or sbux.

And in the bedroom?

PLEASE!

WHY do you think telescope companies are pulling down a mint of money, huh? Did you think Joe Square JUST SO wants to gaze at the Pleiades?

Oh, he's gazing at the Pleiades, all right ...

BETWEEN YOUR KNEES!