http://halo.xbox.com/en-us/Career/HaloReach/GameHistory#/?game=1096142126
Particular the shy and quiet girl ... IN FIRST PLACE ... `phfina is her name, in case you were confused on anything.
You see this medal?
This medal is a new one for the enphfinamistress (that is Swedish) (kinda) (sorta) I call it "Hail to the Queen" but its actual name has a slightly more male-centric bent @_@
See, I was playing with a friend ... you know what friends are, right? Good, because I didn't until a year ago ... ANYWAY! ... well I was playing with a friend, Sgt Wulfy, and he's like 'Wat da hell iz dat!' when he saw that medal on the front page.
What the hell is that, indeed!
Well, it's a very special medal. It's meaning is this: "Kill 5 opponents in a row from inside the hill before it moves."
It was a medal that I never paid any mind to, because it's a boyz medal. A medal I would never get. Why? Here's why.
(Thank you for asking)
It basically means in the whole big bad well-protected map, you stand right in the middle of a little circle and stick out your chest and say: 'C'mon, fools! I'll take you all on!' and kill all of them, all of them throwing grenades at you and shooting your head 27 times and rocketing your ass well under cover, while you stand there out in the open in a little circle that everybody wants because you are a dumbass.
Like I said, a boyz medal. Bragging rights, and shit like that.
Well, my style is, like, totally the opposite. I like hide, under cover, take potshots from a grand distance, and then, if anybody returns fire, I run home to mommy and hide behind her skirt, because that's how I roll.
That's why I would never get that medal in my Halo career.
That I just got yesterday.
How?
Well, not on the map Countdown, that's for sure ... too many unbroken lines of sight across multiple levels. It's simply suicide to walk into the center circle. No, I'm the girl shooting at people in the hill. If you see me in the hill, check your pulse, because that'd be when hell just froze over.
No, it was on Ivory Tower/Reflection. All angles, all covered spaces.
I hate that map. It's a boyz map, because of this: AMBUSH! *BOOM* YOU'RE DEAD, now let me rub my dick in your face that I just punched because that's they only way you die: sword, shotgun, rocket launcher, grenades.
BOOOOORRRRIIINNNNGGGG!
Actually, the real way to survive a firefight is to have more planning and patience and start shooting their heads off WAY before you can see the whites of their eyes because you have a scope, so why not use it?
But what do I know?
Well, it was on that surprise attack map that I got it.
And here's how.
The hill/circle is just around the corner, so what does little `phfina do? Turn the corner and get shotgunned? No, she banks a grenade off the wall, and just as her 'this little piggy went to market' toe entered the circle, the announcer gleefully intoned: 'Triple kill!'
Whoa.
Then some random was charging up to me from across the map: headshot, headshot, headshot, headshot with my DMR and boom, he's dead.
Why do boyz have to charge straight at you from across the map?
That was kill #4 with me being in the hill. Then I noticed a sword lying on the ground right by me. I picked it up just in time to have three boyz jump my bones, but first I sliced, then diced, one of them before the other two lay me low.
As my body crumpled to the ground I heard that dispassionate announcer solemnly state: 'Hail to the king!' and I saw the crown emblem that I thought I would never see by my name, but there it was.
That was my best. death. evah!
Why? (and thanks for asking) I died, but I died taking five snot-nosed boyz with me. Yup, *glow* it takes five brash boys with mad skilz to take out one scaredy cat little phfina.
And wars are fought by men, ... why, again?
Actually, wars should be fought by women, which means, not at all, because there would be a significant increase in lesbianism and there would be a whole lot of shooting and stabbing, but not with rifled carbines, oh, no: with ... other instruments, because this babe charges you screaming like a banshee, and you're like, duh-amn, she's hot, and she's like, 'Fuck this battle charge! I'll fuck you instead!'
Make love, not war, indeed!
And then, all the combatants would eventually synch up so that every month for three days hostilities of one kind would cease to deal with the more internal battles and R&R would be required with warm baths and (very gentle) massages and ice cream and chocolates
Uh, where was I?
Oh, yeah, they crowned me QUEEN (not the other thingie) of the hill and shouted: "Hail to the QUEEN" (not the other thingie).
But Queen? Ick, too ... responsible. You have to be made of iron and steel and raw determination. I see myself more as a ... well: faery princess with rainbows and winged unicorns and a harem of hand maidens with very skilful ... um: hands and very skilful ... um ... other things, and ...
Um, I have to excuse myself for a mo'
*ahem*
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