Liebst du um Schönheit by Friedrich Rückert (1788-1866)
Liebst du um Schönheit,
O nicht mich liebe!
Liebe die Sonne,
Sie trägt ein gold'nes Haar!
Liebst du um Jugend,
O nicht mich liebe!
Liebe den Frühling,
Der jung ist jedes Jahr!
Liebst du um Schätze,
O nicht mich liebe.
Liebe die Meerfrau,
Sie hat viel Perlen klar.
Liebst du um Liebe,
O ja, mich liebe!
Liebe mich immer,
Dich lieb' ich immerdar.
— phfina commentary.
Okay, here's my translation (deep breath):
If you love me for beauty, don't love me.
Love the sun, for her golden hair!
If you love me for my youth, don't love me,
Love the Spring, it's young every year.
If you love me for my money, don't love me.
Love the mermaid, she has clear pearls.
But if you love me for Love. O, yes, love me.
Love me for ever, and I'll love you forever, too.
Okay, here's my take:
God, this is so beautiful! And Mahler's setting to music? I'm crying, just listening to it (à propos de rein I just so love lieder! I'm feeling a little melty right now ... TMI? Oh, well). And the thing is this. Do you love me? Why? 'cause I'm pretty? 'cause I'm young? 'cause I'm (not) rich? (yet)
Honey, all of these things are temporal and shallow! They will pass, you know? "For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health 'til death do us part."
But do you love me because you love me? O ja, mich liebe! Lieber mich immer and I will love you forever, too.
I can't help that. Can you get that? I still love Julia; I will always love her. Yes, she gave me my heart back, but she had it for a while. So did Cate, so did Brenda, so did ... and the list goes on ... and if you love me, truly love me, so do you. You have my heart, my love: always.
So, if you love me for this or for that, guess what? I'm so going to smell that! You think you can hide anything from me, or from yourself? I know I can't hide anything from you, I'm really bad at hiding from just myself. You love me for something, I'll know. And, on top of that, then this or that that you love me for passes away. You love me because I'm weak and sad? Well, I'm strong and happy and fierce today. You love me because I'm young ... well, I'm gonna be old and wrinkled soon ... and that soon will be today before we know it. You love me cause I'm a smart little thing and write all this neat stuff? Well, guess what, I say more stupid things when I open my mouth than anybody else I know (so I tend to keep my mouth shut and be really, really shy ... unless I'm being a real b!tch). You love me because I'm pretty? How shallow is that? Every person is beautiful, but I think I'm only beautiful when I'm loving and I'm loved, and loved not because (of this or that) but loved just because.
And if you love me like that, if you love me no matter what, if you look into my soul and see me exactly as I am, and exactly as I'm not, and love me anyway, not 'because,' but 'anyway' ...
... then, in the face of that love, I am helpless but to love you back, and oh, what love! You love me regardless of the fact that I'm a b!tch or that I'm sweet. You love me regardless of the fact that I'm a proud prowling panther or a scared little mouse. You love me. Regardless. And I cannot but help to love you, and to love you as (toppy) George Sand loved Chopin (so! the fem) — she told him: "I am not full of virtues and noble qualities. I love. That is all. But I love strongly, exclusively and steadfastly" (quoted from the movie Impromptu).
You know what? I just realized something. Bella, in my stories, loves Rosalie that way. Regardless. Regardless of her external façade of cold beauty, regardless of her black soul. Regardless. And in my counter-story, Bloodbuzz Rosalie loves Bella that way. Regardless. Regardless of her fatalism, regardless of her atrocities. Regardless.
You know what 'regardless' means? It means 'blindly.' "Love is blind"? No. Love sees the other person clearly, exactly as they are, and exactly as they are not, and still loves: "strongly, exclusively, steadfastly."
I'm not asking you to love me. I'm not. But I do ask this: if you do choose to love me, love me.
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I love you for your spirit. Your body, while beautiful, is not as precious to me. I love you for the way your hair sticks up in the morning, the same as everyone else. I love that when you close your eyes at night, you spend the same amount of time trying to find your dreams.
ReplyDeleteI love that you can be exuberantly happy one moment and melancholy and desolate the next. Do you know why I love those things about you?
Because you are the same as any other human on this world. Love is blind. There's no doubt about that. Love doesn't see race / religion / beauty / health / sickness. It just is.
Just as you are. You are yourself. Uniquely individual and at the same time, like any hundreds of others.
Love to me, means loving without reserve. It means baking cookies with your grandma to spend time with her, or giving your mother figure a hug just because she looks sad. Its picking a friend up by the bootstraps, or holding one tight while tears spill down their face. Its late nights on the computer, spent trying to reach out across a distance. Its the most precious gift in the world.
That's love. Unconditional. Supportive. Ultimately given freely without choice.
I love you 'Phfina, just the way you are.