No shit

So, like a good little girl, I've been responding to my backlog of reviews to my stories.

Hm. Looking at some of these gems, now I know why I had been holding off on this.

Look, okay, it takes courage to review my pieces.  I know that.  And why? Because I'm as scary as all get out, throwing around big words that you have to look up and my obscure references don't help any, AND THEN my characters are these complex people, nothing at all like the obvious caricatures you read in other fan-fiction pieces where Edward's a god, and Bella's a klutz, and Alice is chirpy-chipper-shoppy and Rosalie's a b!tch and that's all there is to them.

Look. I know, okay. My writings aren't the easiest stories to read on fan-fiction.

So you should have been forewarned, and, being forewarned, been fore-armed.

AND on top of that, you know, already, that I detest stupid people, and not just any stupid people, oh, no: I hate LAZY stupid people.

So when you ask me, "Oh, what does this word mean?" when it's right there in the dictionary? Or I can google the definition?

Or when you tell me, "No, 'phfina, what was in your story is totally wrong, okay? It's like this ..." When I can cite the wikipedia article that supports my writing and destroys your 'oh, no, you're wrong' claim?  Or where I can cite the book and page number of the canon that shows you you just ... ARGH!

So, just know, if you're going to be all certain of your facts that you don't look up or be asking questions that have obvious, easily retrievable answers?

Know this: I am not your secretary. I am not your dictionary. My stories are not little serio-comedy episodes on television or youtube that have an obvious conclusion, all tidily wrapped up in 25 minutes (leaving 5 minutes for commercials so you can rot your brain further with sugar that they peddle on that infernal box) (yes, I am grousing like my father).  No. I expect you to think, to ponder, to extend yourself when you read my stories. I am not going to spoon-feed you sh!t.  No, I respect you, as a reader, too much to do that.

So, do I expect you to think when you leave your review? Do I expect you to extend yourself?

Goddamn right I do.  Goddamn right.  So you can say, "Nice chap" and I'll say "Thanks! :)" back. So you can say what you liked or what you didn't like in the chap and tell me why, and I'll respect your position or I'll defend mine or I'll do both.  Maybe even nicely. So you can tell me I'm wrong ... but you had better be more than just 'Oh, 'cause I know' sure, you had better be goddamn sure (citations will really, really help your cause) because sweetie, I REFUSE to allow you to be LAZY stupid around me.  And you had better answer your own 'why' questions to the best of your ability. Like, you had better not be like: 'Why is Rosalie such a b!tch? Why is Bella so spineless?' without first putting on their moccasins and walking a mile, because another kind of person I hate is the stupid PREJUDICED person, that is, the person who makes a snap call on somebody (we all do that, but) without at least trying to get them and where they are coming from.  You don't do that? Well, then, why are you even reading my stories?  I mean, really! Read something that has 10K+ reviews, read another one of those BxE AU/AH smut-a-thons that require zero brain cells to read or to write.

My stuff: my stuff is precious. I wrote it for you, with love and with care in my heart.  So, write your review, please, preciously.

Because me? A prowling panther? No: I am a ton of bricks, iced with sarcasm.  Yeah, maybe that will be your experience.

Honey, it's not my job to educate you past third-grade reading comprehension.  It's not the schools', even now, especially with the "No Child Left Behind" rallying cry.  It's not Mommy's nor Daddy's.  It's yours.  You are reading my stories, for whatever reason, that means you are a smart cookie.  WAY smarter than most the readers and writers on ffn.  So, there's this thing called a computer: it has google, it has wikipedia.  You now have everything you need to make a pretty good claim that may be even able to stick against me.

Now, for a really good review: write what you liked, what you didn't ... and why.  Do you know that that last part is?  That's putting you, that's putting your heart, on the line.  You do that ... well, I mean, really: you either put your heart on the line, or you don't.

Me, I put my heart on the line, every time. In my review replies, in this post, in my PMs to you, in each and every chapter I publish.  Girls, this is me, I am risking everything, I'm all out, all the time.

'Cause I know what it's like to live scared.  That's not living at all, that's just surviving or existing.  Live. Please.  Dare to live.  Don't rely on 'oh, this is true.' Don't rely on what you think you think you know.  Actually make a stand for what you believe, and actually know what you believe, don't slight anywhere in your life.  You are your weakest link. I know this.  And you communicate with me?

I will call you on the sh!t you pull with other people, be it your lazy-@$$ed sh!t or your prejudiced sh!t.

Don't pull your sh!t on me, because, really, the only person you're sh!tting is yourself.