Beauty and Truth

Okay, Bella deals with this; I SO deal with this; even ROSALIE deals with this, and I keep hearing this from you, in fact: three times this past week. So, more than likely, you're dealing with it, too, maybe?

Okay, put down your latte and don't you look away from me now. Look me right in the eye and you hear what I have to say to you.

You are beautiful.

"But, 'phfina ... I'm just not! Just, just look at me, I'm ..."

NO, YOU SHUT THE ... *ahem* ... UP AND LISTEN TO ME!

Look, I know you maybe don't see yourself as beautiful ("I'm okay, I guess, but 'beautiful'? No"), and that would total mystify me, if I weren't listening to what I tell myself all the time, so I just want you to stop listening to you for a sec and just get this, okay?

I've never met you. And chicken-shit that I am, if I ever do, it's because I'm passing you on my way to the bathroom to puke my guts out and then climb out the back window ("But, 'phfina, sbux girls' rooms don't have back windows ..." Yes, they do, or they will after I pull out the ball-peen hammer to make my escape route out of what used to be wall). So, yes, I don't have a CLUE what you look like, for most of you, so I don't have a leg to stand on, right?

Wrong. Sorry, gf, but you are so wrong. Look, I see all kinds, girls. All kinds, and my conclusion for nearly every single one of them? "God, I wish she saw herself as beautiful as I see her."

'Cause why? 'Cause in every single case where someone compliments that girl or woman, and she gets that (a little bit, there's often that disbelief), the smile that lights up her face ...

And I'm NOT saying your smile makes you beautiful (but God, does it ever! You tell me anything in the world that is more beautiful than a woman smiling joyfully? Hm. I should practice that, huh?). I'm saying YOU are BEAUTIFUL, just as you are, right now. FULL STOP! And, honey, I'm talking about YOU, because I have checked you out when you've come into sbux (I use my peripheral vision, don'tcha know ... um, am I gonna get fired now? *Ahem: 'The views expressed here do in no way represent sbux or its affiliates ... blah-blah-blah'), and I would be SO lucky if you saw yourself as you are, and you chatted with me for a sec ("Hey, violet ...") and smiled, as some of you do sometimes ... ?

God!

And when I say, "Thanks; enjoy your day!" in my cheerful-busy way that I do as I turn to make the next coffee drink at the bar? But do you hear the subtext? It's me, saying what I just said, yes, but also saying: 'You are beautiful. And thanks! Truly thanks for that moment, because I will treasure it the rest of my day.'

Ya. So, next time you look into the mirror, just take one more moment, and really look into the mirror, and see yourself, your perfections (God! your perfections!) and your imperfections (God! your imperfections, too!), and say 'I'm beautiful' and believe it.

Don't fight it. Don't second guess it. Just believe it.

'Cause it's true.

kisses, 'phfina

p.s. and next time you PM me, if you are wont to do that ... you know, along with *ahem* a review if you'd like, just tell me you did that: "'phfina, I did the homework you gave me." And call me to task, too: "Did you do yours?" I think every girl should be reminded of what's so: that's she's beautiful. It's like a civic duty, or something. I know I so need that reminder, sometimes, you know?

p.p.s. Pepe, this is dedicated to you. Thank you for believing this, and teaching your children this. I wish I got to know you; that great man everybody says you are, you know, ... before you took yourself away. I didn't get to know you, but now I just know I miss you and I love you.